


Astrals group text messaging each other

by Yandere_Shoujo



Series: FFXV Dreamwidth Prompts [15]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Carbuncle is a troll, Crack, Gen, Texting, text speak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 03:09:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10732905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yandere_Shoujo/pseuds/Yandere_Shoujo
Summary: Noctis and his crew are taking too long to save the world and the Astrals discuss a solution.





	Astrals group text messaging each other

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, now this is the type of crack I grew up with.

Gentiana stood a ways away from Prince Noctis and his dear friends. The one with the camera snapped away and Gentiana smiled in their general direction.

A buzz in her pocket alerted her, and as messenger of the gods, it was her duty to listen to everything. No matter how much she'd rather not be bothered.

FULGARIAN: Pray tell, hast the heir begun his pilgrimage of trials?

Gentiana pecked away at the touch screen of the phone, nails tapping against the ice proof plastic cover.

GLACIAN: Yes… and no. He is on his way, yet chooses to abstain from his duties.

She pursed her lips.

GLACIAN: Unfortunately.

Bzt.

The phone vibrated once with the incoming message.

CARB. UNCLE: Guys, his dad just died. Can’t he get a break? >.>

Bzt. Bzt. Bzt.

FULGARIAN: Kind Carbuncle, thee might not but understand, the Prince truly hast little time for luxuries.

HYDREAN: THE KNAVE IS 100 YEARS TOO EARLY TO TEST HIS SAPLING STRENGTH AGAINST THAT OF A GOD

CARB. UNCLE: Jeez Levi calm down. ;_; You’re always so mean…

Gentiana sighed. And so it would begin. The argument was out of her control and her phone buzzed for several minutes at a time.

INFERNIAN: Why waste your concerns on mere mortals? Let the Scourge take their world.

A small dancing flame was animated by two frames at the end of the message. Gentiana hated it every time she saw it.

CARB.UNCLE: XD Ifrit why don’t you have any chill?

INFERNIAN: Stay elusive rat because I will cook you alive.

CARB. UNCLE: Yeah ok (^o^)

FULGARIAN: Mayhap it not be wise to pester him so?

HYDREAN: PERHAPS THEY SHOULD DO BATTLE

Gentiana had to move to sit in a lawn chair and pinch the space between her eyes. Honestly, for beings multiple millennia old, they never failed to squabble like human children.

GLACIAN: I beg of you all, allow the Prince to properly undertake a trail. Whenever he gets to it.

The muscled man yelped in surprise when the blonde slapped him on his posterior. The two began talking very loudly and engaging in some sort of fisticuffs. Noctis remained asleep in the car, and their driver watched on in silence, sipping away at a can labeled Ebony.

Bzt. Bzt.

HYDREAN: I SHALL NOT

INFERNIAN: And I shall never.

Now she was getting frustrated.

GLACIAN: Leviathan, I beseech you.

CARB. UNCLE: Yeah, can’t be worshipped if there aren’t any humans around. Like, duh!

HYDREAN: I WILL DROWN YOU.

CARB. UNCLE: But Levi I’m magic XD

This was followed up by a picture of Pryna with an incredibly smug grin.

DRACONIAN: Am I to be deceived? How far have the Astral fallen to participate in such petty things.

GLACIAN: Surely you can provide some sense on this matter. To become the true King of Kings, the Prince must overcome his trials proper.

CARB. UNCLE: Anyone seen Titan? (>_>)   (<_<)

INFERNIAN: He hasn’t moved in centuries, why would he move now?!

CARB. UNCLE: I don’t know? XD

ARCHEAEN: ill do it

INFERNIAN: For what purpose?

HYDREAN: WHY?

Bzz-zzt

Gentiana flicked her finger away from the ensuing chaos to read the message from her personal inbox.

FULGARIAN: I shall provide the Crown Prince with a trial.

GLACIAN: I thank you, Ramuh.

There was an image of a lightning bolt with a smiley face.

The vibrations hadn’t ceased for several hours with no end in sight and while she would gladly wish the Prince a happy life with his comrades to be free of worry, the world needed saving sooner than later.


End file.
